Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
