I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think a kid would responsible me up
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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