I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
