If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize