they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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