How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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