I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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