I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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