I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize