well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
