my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
