Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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