Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
