Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
