Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
