Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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