She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
