The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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