In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
