i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Success! We fucked roommates!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize