I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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