I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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