You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
