margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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