Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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