Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
