I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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