They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
