Got a toothbrush?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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