What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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