i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
