ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
