It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize