We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
