So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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