He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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