I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
COCAINE IS GR8
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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