you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
