just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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