we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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