u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
