you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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