i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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