I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
