thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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