i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
