She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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