So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I am naked and annoyed.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
