In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
