God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
