hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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