I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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