oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I need water and some morals
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
