Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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