All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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