I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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